my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
