U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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