Cold hands, warm shart.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Randomize