What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
