help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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