While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
did you just send me my own nude
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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