Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
