may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
