I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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