I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
