He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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