i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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