Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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