At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
