Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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