Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Randomize
