I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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