its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
