I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
