How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
