youre lurking in front of me
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
