idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
