i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
