gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I have tasted many bathrooms
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
