I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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