I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
