he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
