They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
