i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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