I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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