I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
