just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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