ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
