i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Dicks are not precious.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
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