Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
