We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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