wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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