Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
