marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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