1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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