I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
