I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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