it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
