So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
