I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
