k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Is Oprah even human
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
