i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
