If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
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