): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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