Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
