Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
